Use my heart

 

When I first met you, I could not take my eyes off of you. Even when it felt like I was not looking, I was looking. I was staring, I was mesmerized, I was captured by your soul... 
It's not normal to say I love you, when you first see someone's face...but that was my first, second, eighteenth thought as I tried to look away. I tried to stop my lips from betraying me and letting the words slip out. I tried to deny the feeling my heart seemed to recognize instantly. I have been on a journey to find, conquer, and keep love. The idea that it was possible has been proven too many times to be a fairytale. I have been so close, I have given so much, and as soon as I think I've finally found it..it slips through my fingertips. I watch as it spirals wildly, violently, and unknowingly further away from me. 

I watch it in dismay, trying any and everything I can to save it, catch it, revive it once it reaches the bottom. I try to gather the pieces, try to fix, mend, replace what's broken. I try to give my heart in exchange hoping and praying it will be enough. Can my heart make you love me? 

Cause, I gave it to you at hello. I forgot about the last one, the one before her, and the one before her. I thought maybe you could just love me with my heart until your heart understands what mine feels. Just take mine, use it until you feel like giving me yours. Show me how amazing it feels to be loved the way I love. I don't want to imagine another heartbreak or feel that feeling ever again. Can you just use my heart?

I know mine won't grow tired, get bored, lose interest. I know mine won't give up on me, or leave me when i need it the most. I need you to use mine, because I've lost faith in anyone loving me. I've lost faith in love. I've lost faith in forever, even though i see it when i look in your eyes. 

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